A Series of Observations

Maybe it’s because I’m an Earth sign, maybe not, but change and uncertainty are perhaps the most difficult things for me to deal with. Give me heartbreak, tragedy, sadness; I can find a way to manage despite the discomfort. I have yet to find a way to coexist with the uncertainty of life, love and all else.

I’m at a time in my life where nothing is certain. The comfort and predictability of grade school, and then college, provided a padding around much of my life. I knew what was expected of me, I knew what I expected of myself. There were years of my life where I never really needed to have a plan, because planning was 10 years away, 5 years away. Summers were still days of freedom and not about how much money I could make, or getting ahead on college credits.

Now as an adult where I am expected to begin my career, and perhaps sign my life away to corporate America, I find myself weary to take these opportunities. I’m worried I will lose myself in that process, and that I won’t actually achieve the things I dream of doing.

Uncertainty and change clearly causes me a great deal of anxiety and a whole heap of digestive issues. Not knowing what will come next is a foreign feeling, and worse when I can’t seem to get a pin on my intuition, or if I continually shut it down to override it with logic.

Ugh what a pain right?

What do we do about it? How can we embrace change and allow ourselves to thrive even in the midst of all that uncertainty?

It’s not easy, nor is there a map to guide us through. However I think the answer lies in ourselves.

To embrace change and thrive during uncertain periods of our lives, we must first be certain in ourselves and remember that it is all temporary.

What I mean by that is as we come face to face with these obstacles, we must believe that we can handle whatever comes our way, rather than focus on the thing itself. That each action takes us down a new path, and so on and so forth, therefore nothing remains as it is in that moment, including the emotions we hold during that time.

I have gotten through many things with that mentality. Heartbreak is inevitable in life, but I’ve gone through it enough times to know that I always make it through, one step at a time. So choosing love now looks different than it did when I didn’t know better. I’m with someone now that I care about very much, but no matter how many days we plan for together, we might not get all of them and we’ll never know that for sure until it happens. Does that mean I should steer clear and avoid relationships entirely? My anxiety certainly thinks so, but I have been made so much stronger and more healed thanks to the work I have done within my current relationship.

Choosing your first major job in your career is no longer a lifetime sentence, and I believe that I will make the best decisions for myself with whatever information I have at the time. I believe that as long as I know what I’m doing today, tomorrow matters a little less. I can plan and plan and plan to my hearts content, and I usually do, but if something happens, I do my best to be a strong tree with swaying branches amongst those winds of change.

Change is the only consistent thing in life, ever heard of that? Well you might as well make it a morning mantra, because reminding myself of that fact has lightened the weight I feel everyday to have it all figured out. To know if who I’m with I’ll be with forever, to know if I’ll hate that job before I even apply, to know where I’ll be next week, what city I will choose to live in, or who I’ll be a year from now.

These things are too heavy to hold. We aren’t meant to hold that much. So set it down and remind yourself as often as necessary that you have made it through each moment of change and uncertainty throughout your life, and you will continue to do so.

Remember also that your body is coping the best way that it knows how to, and it is through those mechanisms you have survived to be where you are. The trick is knowing when it is time to set aside those coping mechanisms and take charge, because what worked for us during childhood will not work for us as adults.

I hope we all learn how to live and let go, for our own sakes. I hope that we eventually find comfort in not knowing everything that comes next, simply because we know we are as equipped for the challenge as we’ll ever be. That the opportunities that are meant for us won’t pass us by, if only we have the courage to take it.

I’m curious to see what the future holds, and although that future is uncertain, I think with faith and curiosity we will, with certainty, make it through.

Have a great weekend everyone! Thank you for reading.