Time is a funny thing, it has a way of making certain things seem so small that at a certain age felt overwhelming. It takes us far away from problems and usually presents us with new ones.
My cousin Hunter recently turned 13 and is entering the eighth grade. I am 25 and have been long done with college for a couple years now. Today, I was thinking it would be fun for some rapid fire questions and answers with my little cousin, and my adult answers to them as well.
Let’s see how different of answers time gives us huh?
What isn’t a subject in school but you think should be? Why?
Hunter: I would love to learn about jobs, how to apply, how to get a job, resumes, everything! I don’t know how to do this, or how to do that or even where to go, and I think that they should teach this to us from the 6th grade until we graduate.
Me: I have a similar response. I think there are so many life skills that aren’t taught to us in the ways we really deserve to know them. I think sexual health is more important than ever, but also simply better holistic health teachings. So many issues are defaulted to modern medicine, which has a time and place of course, but might be so much better treated through food and wellness, which is forced upon kids, not taught. I would love to see “trades” more incorporated in schools to really cater to young minds curiosities and help them to develop into well rounded, healthy versions of themselves.
What are three qualities that make a good friend? Why?
Hunter: Loyalty. A friend should be focused on your relationship together, not what they can gain everywhere else. I want friends that will not betray me or ditch me for someone else. They need to be a good communicator. I want my friends to understand me and not take forever to respond, it’s important to me that they are really with me when we are together. Lastly, they need to be patient. I want my friends to be patient because they are understanding and realize that life happens sometimes, and sometimes we all need a little time.
Me: Friends have looked so different for me across my lifetime, but for me I will always look for friends who are loyal, trustworthy and willing/curious people. Loyalty is of the upmost importance for me, I want to know you have my back, and I will always have yours. I want to know that this is a relationship you actively choose and won’t run away from for the next best thing. I want friends who are trustworthy because they are honest with me at all times, I can trust them because they have good morals and values, and in turn I always feel safe with them around to be who I am. I also want friends who are willing and curious. Willing to try new things, willing to hear my side of the story, and curious to grow and expand as people, as well as friends.
Do you think social media is harmful or helpful?
Hunter: Harmful*, it often tells the mind how we are supposed to be, and make us think differently or in a negative mindset where we might not be. If we don’t fit into that box then we feel like we don’t belong, and that doesn’t ever feel good. It fills your mind with false details and different ideas and doesn’t always leave room for people to be different.
*Hunter uses Youtube for social media currently. As he gets older he thinks he will use Snapchat and Facebook when he is allowed to download them.
Me: I think for all the benefits that social media has, there are always equal or greater opportunities for harm. It’s undeniable how connected and vast our world has become, but I hate the way it has made people even more quick to judge others, or worse, themselves. It has somehow made many of us think that we need to look or act a certain way to “fit in,” when our individuality is the greatest thing about us, and growth and change in our society or world requires those who are different to be confident in what makes them stand out. Ultimately, with the right intentions and practices, it is an incredibly helpful thing. I currently use Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and Youtube.
What do you look forward most each day?
Hunter: Seeing my friends or at least talking to them because it makes me happy and that’s what matters most to me is my friends being happy and me being happy.
Me: Maybe this is so grandma of me, but I genuinely look forward to my evenings and going to bed everyday. The time I get to spend alone to make dinner, or enjoy dinner with family, and then get comfortable and do activities that fuel me spiritually or creatively, helps me to function in my days better. My night-time routine is what I am most excited for each day. If I had another answer, I would say any opportunity for me to pursue my passions and hobbies, they make me feel the most accomplished and fulfilled.
What’s something you wish adults could understand better about kids today?
Hunter: A lot of things. Like what we think about things…I wish they understood how we feel in school today, because I think school is a lot harder now than it was in the past. Bullying is the worst it’s ever been and bullies can get your personal information or social media and torture you more often that just at school. I also wish adults could understand that they aren’t always right, and don’t always handle stuff well, and might benefit from putting their perspective into the shoes of people younger than them from time to time.
Me: I wish adults older than me stopped using our age against us. Not only is it belittling, but it completely negates our very legitimate experience to whatever point we are in our lives. Never before have children needed to grow up so quickly, and often once we are to the point of “grown up,” we are then still seen as children, and capable of less so than we are. We are capable of anything at almost any age with the right encouragement and self-confidence, we just want to be supported by those we love as we continue to develop as people.
If you could travel back to the past or into the future, which would you choose?
Hunter: I would do the future. Mostly so that I can find out where I’ll be maybe in a couple years into the future or college and I can understand how I can help my future self now. Say I’m in college and really struggling with a class, maybe I can focus a little more on that now so that it can be easier for me in the future, but I would have to see the future to know what to focus on. Going back in time doesn’t feel right because you shouldn’t focus on what has already happened.
Me: Definitely the past. I believe that the future changes with every decision that we make, and the past cannot be changed. It would be nice to relive certain experiences in my life and watch it with a critical eye, or to see loved ones again who are no longer with us. I’d use that opportunity to go back and give each of my grandparents one more hug and tell them how much I love them.
What 5 items would you bring with you to a deserted island, why?
Hunter: It depends on the type of island, but I would bring a t-shirt, an empty water bottle, seeds to plant, a weapon or sword of some kind to protect myself, and lots of firewood. I think if I had to switch one out I would bring a grill to cook food on, because if it rains it would be protected and I can eat.
Me: A really big tube of Aquaphor. It’s a good one because it’s multifunctional in case I need it for chapped lips or cuts. I’d bring my Owala water bottle for all my drinking needs (assuming all the water is clean), my kindle (fully stocked of course), sunglasses or sunscreen (a little undecided on that one) and a magical, never-ending ink pen.
If you could create any law that everyone on Earth had to follow, what would it be? What would you want it to accomplish?
Hunter: Probably what I would say is that everyone needs to have a basic knowledge of farming. So maybe we can reduce cities and people would all have skills to contribute to our communities. I’d love to be able to give everyone land to farm. But also I would like it if you wanted to own property or buy a house, you would have to take classes to know how to take care of your property and everything else you need to know before owning anything.
Me: I would create a law that says everyone needs to stop and pause before responding in times of feeling triggered. Of course this is a law that everyone would follow in a perfect world, but I believe that everyone on earth would benefit from taking a step back and a deep breath before having hard conversations or during interactions that come up without warning. I hope that this would lead for people to be more grounded, increase individuals capacity for compassion and make us all more thoughtful and kind towards others.
What are your favorite hobbies right now?
Hunter: Art. Designing for shows or custom characters or for stories. I’d love to share my art more and maybe sell some of my stuff. I really love to create and design, I’d also love to try claymation sometime.
Me: I am loving the time I get to spend junk journalling. I am no professional by any means, but it has taken normal journalling to a new level! I also of course love to write, this blog has been a new hobby for me and I look forward to what I will create each week. I have also randomly been having a lot of fun designing on Canva. I usually have a purpose to what I am creating, but it’s been fun at every step!
What is one change you want to see in the world?
Hunter: I want to see our taxes used differently, well I guess my parents taxes right now, but I know I’ll have to pay taxes when I’m older. At least I would like know exactly where our taxes go. They can be used for starving countries or to Ukraine who needs supplies, basically places that are struggling and need our help.
Me: I would love to see our societies values and efforts shift to focus on us as a collective. So much of what we see in politics, or even amongst our neighbors and favorite celebrities is people getting pinned against another. Blame is everywhere, and we have lost sight of our need for community. It’s impossible to get everyone to agree at any given point, but I would love to see people work together way more than they currently do, being open to other people’s points of views and experiences, and shift our focus to ways that we can truly heal and better the world around us.
What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self, and what is something you want your older self to know?
Hunter: To my younger self I would say practice more art, so that I could be better at it now. I want the older version of myself to know that even if someone tries to break you down, life is like a boat. The storm tries to take down the boat, but you just have to stay on it, hold tight and let the ship steer you. I see the ship as God and I believe it’s steering me in the right direction.
Me: I would tell my younger self to be bold. To break out of her shell more and not be so afraid of life because there is so much more to to love and experience than we could ever know. I would tell my future self to continue to be brave. I have a feeling that there will be many moments coming up for us soon that require us to be confident in who we are, to be brave and take every possible leap we can. I love my younger self for the ways that she kept us safe, and I love my future self for honoring the current and past version of me as she continues to move forward into the life we all want and deserve.
A Series of Observations 