A Series of Observations

Life often has these very distinct moments where it gives us the sensation of our ski tips hanging over the edge. We’re at the top, the wind beckoning us to take the leap, but we don’t know how fast we’ll make it to the bottom or what will be there once we do. We can only hope our skills are top notch enough to get us there safely. The nice thing is we don’t all have to be Olympic skiers to make it there.

There’s a unique gift that some people have, where they are able to take these real fears and anxieties and flip the script on them to make them more positive. It might take every ounce of my mental ability to do that sometimes, but it’s something I am challenging myself to do in place of falling victim to all the things that could go wrong.

Anxiety is a very visceral emotion to experience. It’s also a very difficult emotion to process and even harder to challenge. Sometimes there is a lot of logic to the anxieties we experience, but oftentimes we find ourselves in those moments of anxiety because we are lacking something we need. It could be the desire for connection, or a need for comfort or reassurance. Perhaps we drank coffee on an empty stomach and our body simply chose to rebel. For as much logic as there can be present, there is often no rhyme or reason to it. Frustrating, I know.

It took me many years to understand how my body reacted to stress, especially as my stressors changed, and again as my body grew from girlhood into womanhood. It took years as I learned how I reacted to then identify what my anxiety was telling me about my life and what I needed. It took years to learn all those things and then do something about it.

I’m very grateful to not have had a severe disorder when it comes to anxiety, however if you are experiencing something greater, where your thoughts and feelings interrupt your ability to take care of yourself or participate in your life and responsibilities, I highly suggest you seek assistance.

I want to be very clear that there are many situations where medication or intervention might be necessary, and for the purpose of this discussion we are only talking about safe situations and thoughts that do not correlate to violence or self-harm.

Regardless, understanding these facets of myself has taken effort through every day of every year I’ve been alive, but I don’t want that to discourage anyone. The worst thing you could do is never start trying. Which is good advice for anything, but especially when it comes to your mental and emotional health.

I wanted to learn how to shift my anxiety to excitement or anticipation that something good could happen.

I wanted to have the mental power over myself to take my fears and alter them to be motivation for shoving aside those self-imposed limits and not letting them run wild.

I wanted to give my life new narratives that felt less limiting.

For example, first date anxiety. First dates can be bad enough as it is, we don’t want to worry more than we have to, but how amazing could it be to shift that anxiety to feel excitement for the experience we are about to have? I image a completely different version of yourself would walk through that door. A version of yourself that feels good and confident and gives you the power to allow for a great date to happen.  

Or another example, travel anxiety. I love to travel, but I’d be lying if I said that before every single trip I didn’t think of every way it could go wrong and want to cancel simply because it is easier to stay at home. No matter what, I have gone on those trips and had a fantastic time, with most of my concerns never coming to light. Changing my mindset would have made the buildup to the trip so much more enjoyable, and certainly far less stressful.

Simply put, we have to Zoom Out. Take a break and pull ourselves off the spinning teacups, steady our vision, and (maybe) get on an entirely different ride.

I challenge you to take the first step of Zooming Out on your anxiety and simply notice when it happens. How does it feel in your body? What thoughts are you experiencing?

When you have a good handle on identifying when moments of anxiety arise, I want you the challenge the thought completely by simply saying stop. I know that seems silly, but I swear it works. Interrupt every negative thought you have no evidence for.

After you learn to stop the thought in place, I want you to try to challenge the thought again and reimagine what you are experiencing. What if that person doesn’t like me? Well then they are likely missing out on a great human being and says very little about you; plus that means you are able to give your time to people that do like you. What if I don’t get that job offer? It leaves you open to find an even better offer. Take each thought and try to convince yourself how good it can be. Eventually, life will prove how good it can be!

What if I fail? My darling, what if you succeed?

We deserve for our lives to feel good, to feel comfortable, and to feel fun. We deserve to look forward to the things coming into our lives and hold less tightly onto the things that simply aren’t meant for us.

We deserve something better than what our anxieties tell us is possible.

Zoom Out and achieve was IS possible.