Picture this, you are faced with a challenge. It requires you to make an important decision, but too many opinions have found their way to you, or more likely, you feel a dissonance within you.
How do you make a decision when you are of two minds about everything?
In a world where information is readily available in the amount of time it takes you to Google your question, or worse, ask Chat GPT, I think our society has lost touch with some of its natural instincts a bit.
One instinct in particular, our intuition.
There’s a lot of nuances here, the development of modern society and stereotypical gender norms most certainly play a role in how we engage with the topic of intuition and ego. Men are not often taught to hone their intuitive skills, which in previous societies would have saved communities, but are favored for using it without any needed basis. Where women often hold strong connections to their intuition but are repeatedly discredited for their reliance on it.
As fascinating as all that is, that’s not what I am here to talk about.
As someone who shut down her connection to her instincts for most of her life, my world completely changed when I reconnected with those parts of myself.
For me, my intuition is used for a lot of things, but most of all it is used to help me determine what is best for me and what is not. The decisions come after I’ve accepted whatever that outcome may be.
If you are confused about how to identify if you are using your intuition or ego to make decisions, or really anything, the answer is far simpler that you would think.
Intuition is soft. Ego is loud.
Certainly seems simple when quickly written down, but when you have been leading with your ego for so long, it can be very hard to hear the soft voice of your intuition. These instincts can also be felt in the body in different ways.
For example, my ego is very pronounced in my chest and head, usually in the front parts of my mind, and I feel my intuition deeper in my body, in my gut so-to-speak, as well as the back parts of my mind.
My intuition is not forceful, it holds no judgement, it merely observes and offers its belief and then sits and waits for me to make my decision.
My ego is huge, it takes up the entire space of my mind and is easily provoked, it forces its opinions and doubts into my thoughts and is desperate to hold my attention away from the small voice that in truth…is far stronger.
To no surprise, at least I hope there is no surprise at this point, developing this distinction is best done through Zooming Out.
If you’re able to, practice taking a moment of observation towards yourself through various points in your day. We can work ourselves up to the life-or-death-feeling decisions.
It’s the end of the day, you can decide to go for a long walk to enjoy the sunset or you can go straight home and scroll on your phone for the same amount of time.
Our mind will try to trick us into the appeal of the latter decision, after all the funny videos are a great way to relax when you need it, but we spend enough time on our phones and if you’re like me, you usually feel guilty for it afterwards.
Take that moment to sit with your body, do you feel restless after the long day of sitting at your desk? Decision overwhelm and mental exhaustion might push you towards the phone scrolling, but your body is telling you exactly what it needs. Movement, calmness, and connection to what is around you.
Listen for that voice each time you are faced with a new decision, especially a difficult one. It will show itself more and more over time.
I don’t want to discredit the ego entirely, it is an important part of our psychological makeup, but sometimes we need to get good at telling it to shut the fuck up.
How many of us have been in relationships with great people, only to know deep down that they are not exactly who we are looking for?
How many of us have stayed at jobs where we will never grow because we didn’t let ourselves take another chance sooner?
Whatever the decision or the case may be, I hope we can continue to Zoom Out and remember that our intuition is soft, and our ego is loud.
Test yourself daily, and eventually it be as easy as breathing.
You might end up creating a better life than you imagined for yourself.
A Series of Observations 