A Series of Observations

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

— Anne Lamott

It’s a great thing, to be ambitious and to want more for your life. In fact, our society thrives off the image of perfection and ambition. You are rewarded for having a full schedule and thus, a full life.

But what kind of sacrifice is required of you for that kind of life? At what point does it become too much to bear?

We’re living in an age where people are finding themselves more unsatisfied with their lives at higher numbers, and at younger ages. We find ourselves lacking in many ways, including feelings of happiness, and meaning, perhaps even our health, relationships, and finances. We might even find that the standards and expectations we set for ourselves are placed higher than what is manageable, both by our own faults and that of our ever-evolving culture.

The fact of the matter is, we’ll never be able to accomplish everything we want to in life with quality if we don’t take the time to reflect and to rest. When life piles up on us, we have to know when to take a break, because if we don’t we’ll be forced to.

Changes in my life and a heightened awareness have been encouraging me to take stock on where I am in my life, and where I want to be. Or perhaps more importantly, where I’m disconnected from where I want to be.

There is a lot that goes into a balanced life, sometimes through factors that exist beyond our current capabilities, where other times we have it all under control. Lately the wheels of my life have been turning a bit faster than I could keep up with. This resulted in me feeling energetically drained, easily unnerved, and constantly stressed. My anxiety was impacting my mental state, leading me to not be able to think clearly and catastrophizing scenarios that had not happened. My otherwise healthy routines were cast aside for what was convenient or quick or would offer me a distraction from what I was feeling.

I knew that I needed to take a break because it was all becoming too much.

In the past I might have pushed through that feeling, continued to run myself down mentally and physically, but I am thankful to have gained the wisdom to know when I have hit that limit.

Like most things, it’s taken my entire life to get to this point, but I have learned how to recognize the signs of when I am approaching burnout, both mentally and physically. When I am living in a less authentic way to how I truly want or need to be, I experience discomfort and uncertainty. It is harder for me to be creative, to connect with others, to focus, to make decisions. I find myself irritable, I take in too many opinions, and listen far less to my own.

The worst of all, is that I am ultimately disconnected to myself, and my inner truth.

I’m doing my best to hold myself accountable, because I need to call upon my discipline and set myself right. Ultimately that comes with having grace for myself and resting in whatever way I can manage. When I can “unplug” myself, and you guessed it, Zoom Out, I can come back stronger and more stable than I was before.

There are a lot of ways to do this, and I will always encourage you to go with what works for you, but if you need a little inspiration, here is what I start with.

First I reevaluate my routines. I am brutally honest with myself on where I have been slacking, and how my habits need to change to support the routines I know I want to commit to.

For me this currently looks like:

1. Adjusting how frequently I allow myself on my phone and doing better to not bypass those limits
2. I am a notorious snoozer and set alarms knowing I’m going to shut them off at least once or twice. I want to be better at getting up on that first alarm
3. Creating space to connect with myself more frequently, be that journaling, crafting, meditating, etc. anything that allows me to express my thoughts and feelings safely, while keeping my mind and body calm
4. Doing something from #3 before reaching for my phone in the morning
5. Prepping for the next day the night before, so that I have more time to make myself feel good and know that I am prepared
6. Incorporating more movement in my daily schedule. I used to go to the gym a lot, and have fallen out of practice with it, but I know I feel so much better when I move my body more
7. More closely monitoring my nutrition. Thankfully I am someone what eats whole foods more frequently than I don’t, but I know that lately I have gone for quick meals that might not contain everything my body needs

Being honest with yourself and having the discipline to fix your routines might be the hardest part depending on what kind of person you are. I have found that if you focus on small, realistic achievements, over the course of even a month you’ll find those habits solidifying into your routines, or perhaps you find that certain things don’t work for you, and you reevaluate again.

Next, I evaluate my mental state, if I already haven’t done so along the way. When I’ve taken the time to get myself back on track, my thoughts are a lot easier to navigate as well. In the moments where I am disconnected with myself and the habits I know are good for me, I simply can’t make sense of the thoughts coming through. What is real, what is anxiety, what feels good, and what doesn’t, because I’m too focused on feeling out of control and not listening to myself.

When my mind and body have quieted down I feel that I am able to make better decisions. When life is moving quickly and requires a lot from you mentally, it can be easy to get swept up in that momentum. To help, I like to ask myself these questions daily:

1. How do I feel today?
2. Where in my body do I feel those emotions?
3. Why?

We’ve talked before about the differences between intuition and ego, and I think that practice can apply to these moments too. When we pinpoint what we are feeling, where we feel it in our body, and assess why we might be feeling that way, the sensation immediately becomes less overwhelming. It gives us the space to bring ourselves back to our center, and work through that feeling as opposed to letting it run ahead of us.

From there, it’s up to you.

Instinctively, you know what the best thing is for you, now chose it, which I know is easier said than done. You have no other option but to trust that you will make it through anything, and with enough faith and support, there is no way that you can fail.

I’ve had to Zoom Out and remind myself of that a lot lately as I prepare to take bigger steps away from the life I have gotten complacent in, towards the life I know I deserve.

We will never know how far we can fly if we never strengthen our wings.