A Series of Observations

I think everyone is painfully aware of the insurmountable precipice that is our 20’s. So much unknown, so much to do and see, so many people to meet and love, etc. Our dreams are so potent, and our realities can be so underwhelming or even stifling. Growing up is a painful and unforgiving experience.

Careers are interesting, because they are built over lifetimes and often achieved through sheer luck, but founded on the dreams we had as children. Let’s be honest, because if it was really all about hard work and talent (and not being a white man), we’d likely be a lot more “successful” than we currently are. It’s about who you know, and who likes you the most, with the right opening at the right time. I’ve applied to dozens of jobs with zero luck, even to the very same college I graduated from (don’t get me started on that one).

So, what is it? What is the secret code to breaking free in the career space, or any space, when the only experience we really have under our belt is childhood? Teenagerhood? Something tells me an employer won’t be all that impressed with my childhood obsession with the Jonas Brothers (I love you Joe), or the number of stickers I hoarded from doctor’s offices because I did such a good job.

Such a good job hasn’t made a single difference thus far, and even on occasion a good reference won’t matter either. Perhaps I lack hire appeal because I’m not a robot, and I have the audacity to think and operate for myself, and at times that originality doesn’t have a perfect place to find a home in.

A lot of the time, these Zoom Out chapters can get quite deep or existential in topic, but I’m trying desperately to stay light and positive on a topic I feel nothing but dread and annoyance about. I’m going to set a reminder to myself that I have to pick a more positive topic for the next chapter right now.

Adulthood held such promise, surely with fingers crossed behind their back, but talk to me again when I’m ovulating, and I might be a lot more optimistic.

Anyways, career frustration is very normal, how lucky for us, and there is a lot of discourse going around about what exactly is so frustrating about it.

It is said that career frustration is about a misalignment between your values as a person, and naturally, what you do on a daily basis. As a result, we can feel stagnant (check), unfulfilled (check) and experience higher levels of imposter syndrome (double check). I have no science to back this up, this is just what I’m seeing people talk about online and in person.

I don’t know about you, but I experienced a zero percent increase of dopamine while crossing off the items on that list.

What do we do about it? When every application reaches a dusty, overcrowded, long-forgotten inbox, how do we create the careers we aways wanted when the no’s have us backed into a corner?

As you might be able to imagine, I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I feel a great many things about this. Every odd job that I’ve done in my life, has both helped me to gain skills, but realistically doesn’t relate at all to what I want to be doing, and why is that? Because it was the best for me at the time, and I didn’t have it all figured out yet.

Which is a lot of the same problems I’m experiencing currently. I’m trying to choose the best things for me, without having it all figured out yet.

For me, I got very uncomfortably comfortable in my current position. It was the perfect opportunity for me at the time that I got it and it has been a fantastic job with many things that I love and appreciate about it. Yet a light has been fired under my ass that let me know it’s time to move on, but I have nowhere to move onto yet.

In the meantime, I continue to send out carrier pigeons that never return, hoping someday I’ll get a positive response, and I’ve realized that it might be time for me to make a location change. To where you might ask? Well, I have no idea. The world calls to me but no place feels like home, not yet anyways.

Yet I am a practical creature, as much as I am creative, and I wanted to find a way to safely explore my options, without burning bridges, and without screwing myself over in the process. I have hoarded my PTO like my life depended on it (just kidding, I just forgot it existed and didn’t need to use it), and so my plan began to form.

In October, I plan to take two weeks off to explore the cities that are currently calling to me the most, and where I think there are the most career opportunities for me. Those cities being Philadelphia, PA, and good old New York, New York.

Now, I have visited these places many times, but never more than a weekend, so I felt it was important to put myself in each city with low stakes going against me. No rent to pay, no people I know and love with opinions to sway me, no job, no nothing. An opportunity to truly start fresh, without the full commitment in case it simply sucks. Though I don’t see that happening.

I can’t exactly take the credit for this idea. I owe that to my therapist. We were discussing how I don’t believe that I am a risk-taking kind of person, and she was telling me just how wrong I am. She told me that I can jet off to Europe with a one-way ticket and a not a single care in my mind, start a blog, and put myself out there repeatedly with relationships and experiences, but couldn’t see why moving to a city only a few hours from my hometown was making me spiral.

Long story short, she called me out on my shit, which is exactly what I pay her to do.

Thus the idea of the “Trycation” was made. Our discussion sparked something in me, a curiosity, and a power I hadn’t relied on or tapped into in a while. I have recovered from a lot that happened over the last year, but didn’t push myself beyond that, and it was high time that I did.

Trying will always be the worst and hardest part of doing anything new, but it is the most important part, and over before you know it.

There are a million roads this could lead me down, and I have taken the first step down one of them, but I have to keep going to know which one it is.

There’s no definitive answer for any of us, no one path that will be better or worse (I hope), and the only one that can push us forward is ourselves. Friends may help to guide our sails on occasion, like mine have, but ultimately I have to listen to myself and my intuition the most.

Careers are frustrating enough, let’s Zoom Out and take the pressure away from being everything that we aren’t yet. I am a strong believer that timing is everything, and that what is meant to happen will happen when it is good and ready to. So Zoom Out, and make sure you’re ready for when it does!