I’ve thought a lot recently about the passage of time. As I’m writing this, it’s at the end of a wonderful, whirlwind of a summer. It’s been the best in every possible way. Time spent with friends and family, exploring new things, and even a little bit of romance. I genuinely haven’t felt this kind of excitement for life in a while.

This thought stopped me in my tracks, because if you had asked me prior to the summer, I would have told you that I was happy and more or less enjoying my life. Naturally there are plenty of things I would change, but I had relatively low complaints. I’ve been working towards goals and committed to refining my routines. So what made this summer different? What made my experience with time these last few months so much more impactful than the last handful of years?

I’m currently twenty-seven years old. Some of those years, some of those days, were the longest of my life and then I have seasons like this one where it goes by in a blur, but when I look back on it I can honestly say it feels like the perfect amount of time.

I wouldn’t change a thing about this summer, the late nights, the travel, the parties, the quiet moments, the feeling of the sun on my skin.

Time passes regardless of how I experience it. Time has given me people that it eventually took away, and I am happier for them being gone but it took even more time for me to get to that point of acceptance. Time has given me experiences I will never forget, and many more that I don’t think twice about anymore.

An odd thing to become aware of, time. Our society spends so much of that otherwise priceless time obsessed with it. There’s the overwhelming pressure to achieve so much, or the overwhelming disappointment and shame if you do not. There are those that don’t adhere to it at all, and we are jealous of them for it but cannot break away from this cycle.

I listened to a podcast episode recently from “The Psychology of Your 20’s,” a show I’ve mentioned before and love. It was titled, “Why Does Time Start Flying in Our 20’s?” and I’ll be sure to link the podcast for you here.

In this episode the host, Jemma Sbeg explores our relation to time backed by science; including different types of time, memory, novelty, and even the impacts of COVID and social media/AI on our ability to perceive and experience time.

I highly recommend you check it out, but I concluded that episode with a renewed sense of responsibility to take charge of my time again. This got me thinking about how I have been experiencing time in my 20’s, or rather life in general.

For most of my early 20’s, I was racing to the “finish line.” I wanted to get through school so quickly that I forfeited nights out and fun activities to commit to finishing my degrees and working hard to save money. Then COVID hit and well, we all know what happened. When I was younger I used to think I’d be married with children by 25, and then I turned 25 and couldn’t have been more terrified of that thought. The timeline of my life has shifted countless times, and it will continue to do so, but I had never stopped to think about how I was experiencing it, just how badly I wanted it to change or stay the same.

Jemma mentions in the episode that somewhere along the way, between grade school and where we are now, our days lost its “shape.” Too much of our routines and experiences blended, lacking separation or worse, being constantly downloaded and experienced within the parameters of our phones. I completely agree with her, and I too have often wondered where the endlessness of time disappeared to that I used to covet as a kid.

She goes on to explain the differences in the measurement of time, historically, socially and culturally how these methods can all be so different, but I won’t go into that here, you’ll have to listen to the episode for yourself!

Somewhere along the way that episode inspired today’s post. She presented a theory by a Kenyan philosopher named John Minbitti, who ultimately believed that time had to be experienced in order to feel real. The past was gone, the future did not exist, only the present. Naturally we all experience time differently, and even that experience changes depending on the day, what we are doing, where we are etc.

There are so many things that impact that experience but let me say the most important part again in bold print, time needs to be experienced in order to feel real.

Time has given me everything I’ve ever had, given me the space to find and lose myself many times over, and taken away so much. So again I ask, what made this summer so different?

Truthfully, I think the difference was novelty and that I was not focused on time at all, which might be the very point. I wasn’t worried about what milestones I was achieving, or which I wasn’t. I didn’t look at people on social media and lust over their vacations or exciting moments. I created my own. For the first time in a long time, timelines didn’t hold more power than my ability to remain in the moment and experience it fully. I wasn’t performing for others or social media; I wasn’t even worried about pulling out my phone to take pictures most of the time. I was fully emersed in every single painful or beautiful second.

My schedule was full and though my physical self might have been exhausted, my metaphorical cup was running over. Even the bad days couldn’t quite touch me, I reacted differently. If it wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t treat it like a big deal. There was no urgency to do anything I didn’t want or have to do.

It’s annoying to know that “they” were right, whoever they are. That unplugging, living in a state of creation, be it memories, art, food, etc. and expressing ourselves without limitations with those we love, are truly the best ways to spend our time. That time is so much more fulfilling when we do.

After so many chapters, I must have instilled the importance of creation in us, especially as a reminder for myself. How many chapters have I asked you to Zoom Out and exist in the moment you’re in? How many times did I write these chapters so that I somewhere along the way I would believe it myself?

That is why this summer was so different, because it was novel, and it was full. Full of love, laughter, good food, happy moments, sad moments, confusing moments, creative moments, and so much more. I wasn’t focused on a future that wasn’t here yet, or a past I had already walked away from. I signed up for classes I’ve always wanted to, I spent time in nature, I did random things with friends, I ate lots of ice cream and watched sunsets, I opened my heart again, I wrote and created art, tried new foods, let people in and let people go. I existed precisely in the moment I was in, and now I hope to keep doing just that.

I’m grateful for that podcast episode, that happened to play at the exact perfect moment I needed it to.

Time needs to be experienced in order to feel real, and if lately your life has resembled a simulation more than ever, find a way to change your routines or add things that make it all feel new again.

Time passes regardless of how we experience it, but regardless, I hope you Zoom In or Zoom Out enough to fill it with experiences that sustain you for all your days.

Afterall, you’ve got nothing but time!